I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
