She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
