I accidentally burped into my bong.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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