Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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