Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
