Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well I just put wine in my tea
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
