My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i came on her dog
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize