we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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