drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
