I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
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She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
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I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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