I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm just crazy horny about you
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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