Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
