Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize