honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
