I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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