that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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