I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
