She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
