and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
