Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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