I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
