what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize