he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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