I have demons in me.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.