the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize