the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize