Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
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only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
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I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.