we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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