it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
