I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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