Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize