I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
