This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
