So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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