I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
