just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
