When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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