No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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