i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
