how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
