Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
