Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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