before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
