I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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