well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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