I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
