haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
