evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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