YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
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There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize