I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
