she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
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Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
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At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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