he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
