He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
