This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize