Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
