meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
