I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
