Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
