found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
