I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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