I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
