And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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