Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize