return my video game
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I still have a little drunk in my system
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
