Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
