friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
