is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
operation have a gay friend backfired
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
