THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
